Leita frttum mbl.is
Embla

Frsluflokkur: Spaugilegt

Snur og teygjan....

Hann Snur alveg ng af dti og er duglegur a leika sr me a. Ef hann kemst fri vi hrteygju verur hann himinlifandi. Honum ykir ekkert skemmtilegra a leika sr me r.

gr frum vi a leika okkur a gamalli teygju, g skaut henni t lofti og hann eftir. Nei, g skaut honum ekki t lofti, bara teygjunni. a er augljst a Snur er ekki hundur ar sem g arf a skja teygjuna til a skjta henni aftur. Hann situr bara rassinum og horfir mig. Meira, skjttu aftur. egar g nennti ekki a skjta og skja, j g veit a hann rur, hlt hann bara fram a leika sr a teygjunni.

grkvldi fann g svo teygjuna glfinu, rennandi blauta og reyndar bara pnu hluta af henni. nei, tli hann hafi ti restina af teygjunni. g var pnu hyggjufull en a virtist lagi me Sn svo g hugsai ekki meira um a. morgun heyri g hann svo kgast og la. a er ekkert ntt, svona hreinsa eir sig. egar g fr fram til a hreinsa upp eftir hann s g restina af teygjunni bland vi hrin sem hann hafi lt. V hva mr ltti, en miki rosalega er ktturinn minn ruglaur.

Hann fr ekki a leika sr me teygjur nstunni.

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Fjlur og bflugur....

g var a koma fr v a setja pottana sem mamma gaf mr til a hafa bakvi hj mr. g setti fjlur , a kom ekkert anna til greina. Fjlur eru upphaldsblmi mitt.fjlur

Mamma var svo almennileg a hn keypti ng af fjlum handa okkur bum og fullt af mold einnig. a eina sem g urfti a gera var a n etta og fara me niur til mn. Snur var mjg hugasamur og hkk ti glugga og fylgdist me mr setja fjlurnar pottana. a gekk bara vel og virtist hann bara vera sammla.

egar g var svo bin a ganga fr llu og fr t a vkva fkk Snur a kkja t. Hann tk tilhlaup og stkk risastra bflugu. V a uru sm slagsml. g tk hann upp svo hann yri n ekki stunginn og urfti a hafa mig alla visvo g missti hann ekki r fanginu mr. Hann slasa bfluguna svo miki a hn geti ekki flogi og liggur bara grasinu og titrar ll. g fr nefnileg t til a athuga me hana og mtti nnur bfluga af svipari str svi. Nna er Snur vi svalahurina og kvartar hstfum yfir a f ekki a fara t. V hva g er vond.

g held samt a hann hafi veri stunginn, g virist ekki mega klra honum vinstra megin hlsinum. g vona bara a hann s svo fll t mig a g megi ekki vera g vi hann. etta er reyndar ekki fyrsta skipti sem hann slst vi bflugu. Mamma og litli brir bjrguu einni fr honum uppi vernd um daginn.

Kamakazi kttur.

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Snur....

mislegt 048Snur elskar vottahsi. a er fullt af krkum og kimum sem hann getur smeygt sr um. Annars ykir honum ekkert skemmtilegra en a sitja fyrir framan vlina og fylgjast me vottinum fara hring eftir hring eftir hring. Svo reynir hann a komast inn vlina til a n vottinum. Frekar fyndi a fylgjast me honum, hann nefnilega kvartar vi mann yfir v a komast ekki a vottinum.

Snur 198N er hann farinn a koma sr fyrir ofan vottavlinni og reynir a komast a vottinum annig. Hann ltur ekkert trufla sig. Hreyfir sig ekki egar g mti me myndavlina til a taka myndir af honum.

Kvartarekki einu sinniyfir a n ekki vottinum en reynir n samt a teygja sig hann eins og sst.

g gti fyllt bloggi af sgum og myndum af honum Sn en lt etta duga bili.

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Skrauteistu....

Ekki er ll vitleysan eins. N vantar mig bara skrauteistu til a hengja blinn hj mr.

Florida lawmakers consider bill banning ornamental testicles

April 28, 2008

TALLAHASSEE, Fla.-They're proudly displayed by any self-respecting bull, but dangling big metal ones on the back end of a truck could be banned in Florida.

Metal replicas of bull testicles have become trendy bumper ornaments in some parts of the Sunshine State, but state Sen. Carey Baker is campaigning to ban the orbs.

Baker acknowledged that Florida lawmakers have more pressing issues, including huge revenue shortfalls, but said the state needs to draw a line on what's obscene before more objectionable adornments appear.

State Sen. Steve Geller argued against Baker's bill.

"I find it shocking that we should be telling people that have the metallic bull testicles ... you're now going to have points on your license for this," said Geller.

Geller was in the minority. Baker's bill to fine drivers $60 for displaying the ornaments passed the Senate. It's now up to the House, but there's only a slim chance that members of that chamber would pass the measure before the session ends this coming Friday.

If it were to be passed, Gov. Charlie Crist has not indicated whether he would sign it, although he has not been too critical of this and other not-so-pressing issues.

"It's good to have some things that maybe aren't quite as serious. Got to have a little levity," the governor said.

A similar bill in Virginia, aimed at rubber trailer hitch replicas of human genitalia, died in committee this year.

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Snillingur....

g elska heimska glpamenn og essi er n rugglega me eim heimskari.

Police: Carjacker stops to ask TV news crew for directions

April 24, 2008

CLEVELAND-A carjacking suspect stopped during the crime to ask a television news crew for directions, police said.

The 19-year-old was arraigned Thursday on a charge of aggravated robbery and ordered held on $50,000 bond.

WOIO-TV newswoman Shannon O'Brien and photographer Eric Walls were doing a sidewalk report Monday on bank problems when the passenger in a car asked for directions to a bank. The driver signaled that he was being held at gunpoint, O'Brien told police.

The news crew called police and followed the car until officers caught up. Police Lt. Thomas Stacho said the suspect was carrying a loaded handgun.

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Fari ml t af llu....

a er ekki hgt anna en a hlja a vitleysunni Amerkananum. Dmi svo hver sjlfur.

300-pound inmate complains Ark. jail doesn't feed him well

April 28, 2008

BENTONVILLE, Ark.-An inmate awaiting trial on a murder charge is suing the county, complaining he has lost more than 100 pounds because of the jailhouse menu.

Broderick Lloyd Laswell says he isn't happy that he's down to 308 pounds after eight months in the Benton County jail. He has filed a federal lawsuit complaining the jail doesn't provide inmates with enough food.

According to the suit, Laswell weighed 413 pounds when he was jailed in September. Police say he and a co-defendant fatally beat and stabbed a man, then set his home on fire.

"On several occasions I have started to do some exercising and my vision went blurry and I felt like I was going to pass out," Laswell wrote in his complaint. "About an hour after each meal my stomach starts to hurt and growl. I feel hungry again."

But Laswell then goes on to complain that he undertakes little vigorous activity.

"If we are in a small pod all day (and) do next to nothing for physical exercise, we should not lose weight," the suit says. "The only reason we lost weight in here is because we are literally being starved to death."

The suit also asks that the county be ordered to serve hot meals. The jail has served only cold food for years.

The meals, provided through Aramark Correctional Institution Services, average 3,000 calories a day, jail Capt. Hunter Petray told The Morning News of northwest Arkansas for a story Saturday.

A typical Western diet consists of 2,000 to 3,000 calories a day.

Laswell's suit was filed without a lawyer in U.S. District Court in Fayetteville.

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Af sjlfvirkum vekjara....

Ef vri ekki bi a gelda Sn hefi g fari allsnarlega me hann morgun og "snip, snip".

Best a byrja byrjuninni. laugardagsmorguninn klukkan 06:10 mtti sjlfvirki vekjarinn svi. Vakna, vakna, vakna. Hann tk tilhlaup eins og venjulega og skellti sr bringuna mr. g sneri mr hliina og tti Sn burtu. fr hann rlti, mr. Sprangai fram og aftur mjminni mr. endanum gafst hann samt upp og g gat sofna aftur. Hrra.

g fkk fri grmorgun, hann hefur lklega veri svo reyttur eftir a vakna svona gulega snemma laugardagsmorguninn.

morgun klukkan 05:30 fkk Snur kast glugganum svefnherberginu. Starrarnir voru greinilega eitthva spennandi og hann gat augljslega ekki mnt gegnum eldhsgluggann, stkk heldur upp gluggann hj mr me gurlegum ltum. Hann hefur n gert etta ur en morgun er fyrsta skipti sem g hef fari ftur og teki hann r glugganum.

g hugsai mr gott til glarinnar en mundi svo a g var bin a lta gelda ltabelginn. Andsk....!

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Starfskynning....

Kannski stefna au frama mtmlum.

a eru j til atvinnumtmlendur.

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mbl.is Ungmenni tefja umfer
Tilkynna um vieigandi tengingu vi frtt

Heimskir krimmar....

g get alltaf hlegi mig mttlausa egar g les svona. trlegt hva flk getur veri vitlaust.

Man's trip through metal detector turns up drugs

April 18, 2008

DOTHAN, Ala.-A Dothan man attempting to report to his probation officer and pay some fines was re-arrested when he emptied his pockets for a metal detector at the Houston County Courthouse and laid out more than the usual coins and keys.

Two baggies full of marijuana came out, too, authorities said.

Malcom Williams, 51, tried to escape when the drugs appeared Thursday, but he was caught after a minor struggle and a failed attempt to Taser him, sheriff's officers said.

"He reached into his pocket and pulled out a handful with change, U.S. currency, keys, and the marijuana was evident in his hand," Houston County Sheriff's Capt. Antonio Gonzalez said Friday. "Every now and then you have somebody who forgets what he had in his pockets."

Sheriff's Investigator Rick Clemmons said deputies had to shackle Williams instead of handcuffing him because his arm was in a sling with a cast on it.

Williams was being held in the Houston County Jail without bond for violating his probation. He pleaded guilty to felony third-degree escape in April 2007, according to court records.

It was not immediately clear if Williams had a lawyer Friday.


Blasti....

g lagi gjaldskylt blasti dag. Kostai kr. 500 eir klukkutmar sem g urfti. Fann ekki sti annars staar svo g kva bara a sprea aeins.

g lenti strskrtnum atburi egar g var a borga sti.

egar g er a koma a blastagreisluvlinniWhistling er maur a koma fr henni og sest inn blinn sinn sem er lagt alveg vi hana. g byrja a setja pening , kemur ekki maurinn t r blnum talandi um a hann hafi gleymt a taka miann.

a var enginn mii vlinni og g hafi bara byrja a setja pening egar g kom a henni. Tk ekkert eftir v hvort vri mii ea peningur vlinni. Maurinn geri sr lti fyrir og tti grna takkann til a f mia. Hall, g er a setja pening . g var sm rei og spuri hva maurinn vri eiginlega a gera, svo fauk miinn sem kom egar hann tti takkann og g urfti a elta hann. Ekki btti a r skk. g spuri manninn hva hann hldi a hann vri a gera og sagi a hann skuldai mr 300 krnur. Miinn sem kom t var til klukkan hlf fjgur g urfti til rmlega fjgur.

Hann m n eiga a essi maur a hann borgai mr 300 krnur og tk miann. g setti pening aftur og fkk mia sem rann t rmlega hlf fimm. egar g er svo a labba a blnum mnum til a setja miann hann kemur maurinn t r blnum og segir a miinn s til fjgur. g svarai htt og skrt a hann vri bara til hlf og a g yrfti mia til rmlega. Tpskur karlmaur.

g var frekar hneykslu essum manni morgun, en n ykir mr etta bara fyndi. Srstaklega ljsi ess a maurinn j borgai mr peninginn sem g var bin a setja . g tek a fram a ef hann hefi ekki tt takkann hefi g lti hann hafa pening ar sem hann gleymdi a taka mia og a var peningur vlinni egar g kom a.

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Höfundur

Gunnhildur Inga Rúnarsdóttir
Gunnhildur Inga Rúnarsdóttir
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